My Immortal: Crash's Revision
by Crash Marie
Summary: My Immortal by Tara Gilesbie. Edited by yours truly, Crash. so goffik n kowai, chek it out k?
1. Author's Note

First off, I have to say that I don't own, or write My Immortal by Tara Gilesbie. She gets all of the credit for this...uh...masterpiece.

The title goes to Evanescence.

The series goes to JK Rowling.

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This is a re-write of the infamous My Immortal...Crash style!

So, what I'm gonna do for all of you people who lost brain cells trying to read the original and are still curious: this is just a translation. I'm correcting all spelling mistakes (including Author's Notes) and placing the correct or intended word in where it's supposed to be. Okay? Get it?

So, basically, this will be for the full enjoyment of anyone who couldn't make any sense of it, but still want to read it, error-free. I won't be correcting sentence structure or the crazy new names for the full effect. Think of it as Tara with half a brain and decent spelling and correct vocabulary.

Btw, luv u Tara fr mking dis awsum stry, ur so goffik n kewl grl!


	2. Chapters 1 through 5

**Chapter 1 (I'm going to be putting several on a chapter because they're generally pretty short.)**

AN: Special fangs (Get it? 'Cause I'm gothic.) to my girlfriend (Ew, not in that way.) Raven (bloodytearz666) for helping me with the story and spelling. You rock! Justin, you're the love of my depressing life; you rock too! MCR ROCKS!

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Hi, my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (That's how I got my name.) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears, and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: If you don't know who she is, get the hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way, but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire, but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen.). I'm a goth (In case you couldn't tell.) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all of my clothes from there. For example, today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was also wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey, Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was Draco Malfoy!

"What's up, Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said shyly.

But then I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

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AN: Is it good? Please tell me, fangs!

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**Chapter 2**

AN: Fangs to bloodytearz666 for helping me with the chapter! By the way preps, stop flaming my story, okay?

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The next day, I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle that I had. My coffin was ebony black and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took off my giant MCR t-shirt, which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven, this is you!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long, waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup. (Black lipstick, white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"Oh my fucking God, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," I replied flirtatiously.

"Guess what?" he asked.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade," he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I _love _GC. They are my favorite band besides MCR.

"Well…do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.

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**Chapter 3**

AN: STOP FLAMING THE STORY, PREPS, OKAY? Otherwise, fangs to the gothic people for the good reviews! FANGS AGAIN, RAVEN! Oh yeah, by the way, I don't own this or the lyrics for Good Charlotte.

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On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on tons of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale, anyway. I drank some human blood, so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (They would be playing at the show, too.), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot of cool boys wear it, okay!).

"Hi, Draco," I said in a depressed voice.

"Hi, Ebony," he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (The license plate said '666'.) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way, we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"_You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
They're all so happy you've arrived  
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
She sets you free into this life," _sang Joel. (I don't own the lyrics to that song.).

"Joel is _so _fucking hot," I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly, Draco looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's okay. I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me, all protective.

"Really," I said, "besides, I don't even know Joel, and he's going out with Hilary-fucking-Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch," I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into the Forbidden Forest!

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**Chapter 4**

AN: I said to stop flaming, okay? Ebony's name is EBONY, not Mary Sue, OKAY? DRACO IS SO IN LOVE with her that he is acting different! They knew eachother before, okay?

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"DRACOI" I shouted, "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

Draco didn't answer, but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic, red eyes (He was wearing color-contacts.) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then, suddenly, I didn't feel mad anymore.

And then...suddenly, Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out intensely against a tree. He took off my top and I took off his clothes. I even took off my bra. Then he put his thing into my you-know-what, and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then…

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!"

It was Dumbledore!

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**Chapter 5**

AN: STOP flaming! If you flame, it means you're a prep or a poser! The only reason Dumbledore swore is 'cause he had a headache, okay? And on top of that, he was mad at them for having sex! PS: I'm not updating until I get five good reviews!

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Dumbledore made Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludicrous fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry. Tears of blood ran down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall, who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked, "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad, but Professor Snape said, "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah, I guess," I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and hair, changing into a low-cut, black, floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out, Draco was standing in front of the bathroom. He started to sing 'I Just Wanna Live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.


End file.
